"This is the type of fight that makes you want to go home and say 'Man I should be selling cars'"
"Have you seen his ears? They're like potatoes, looks like his head was stuck in the birth canal for 4 hours and they had to beat him out with a stick."
"The Armenians are tough. They come from a war-torn homeland."
"All southpaws oughta be drowned at birth."
"...was like a couple a' whores fightin' over a loose dollar."
"Darabedyan is a mean little Armenian. He's going to go for the kill here."
"The ref is the enemy, so are the judges."
"There are big heavy boys...and then they're going to get a bucket of fried chicken."
"I scratched my back and a puppy fell out."
"All these goofy guys are painting their toe nails, by the time it takes to paint your toe nails, you can do a 3 mile run."
"Have you seen his ears? They're like potatoes, looks like his head was stuck in the birth canal for 4 hours and they had to beat him out with a stick."
"You know, the electricity in your house could make a difference [in a fight]."
"I think it comes from my scrotum."
"Like a wet fart...don't pretend like you haven't done it."
"A couple of tribal vikings out there, blonde hair, blue eyes."
"I didn't know France was ever in a fight."
"[a country] declared war on Spain, and France surrendered."
"You don't want the Tito Ortiz list of excuses here."
"[Bas Rutten] is the ugly guy here."
"They act like they owe each other money." [Joey Villasenor vs. Danillo Villefort]
"At least he's got clean underwear on" [Joey Villasenor]
"Skin off a mules ass." [in reference to Bas Rutten]
"The beer sales must be good tonight."
"He's so awkward, like a rabid octopus."
"I need a shot of tequila and a cigarette."
"They're both a couple of caveman and they got whacked."
"They haven't thrown an easy punch yet. Everything's been mean."
"Houston Alexander can run for mayor in Amarillo and they'll have him."
When talking about Jardine's style
"Man, he's like an rabbit octopus or something"
[source]
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